Do you feel unhappy in your relationship? Well, you’re not alone. Many people are stuck and unhappy in relationship situations that aren’t serving them.
It’s time to find out what’s making you unhappy. With this knowledge, you can talk to your partner and mend your love. Get ready to learn the five crucial signs you’re unhappy. In relationship circumstances, a number of things could be wrong. So, learn how to fix it and discover the top traits of a good relationship. Soon, you’ll have passion once again in your relationship!
5 Signs You’re Unhappy In Relationship Troubles
You Prioritize Other People
Would you rather talk to anyone else? Then, it’s a sign you’re a little lost and unhappy in relationship settings. When you get good news, stop and think. Which person do you want to share it with most? Your partner should be the one you want to tell. If you don’t want to, something’s wrong.
Also, if you rely on friends or family over your partner, it’s a red flag. It means there’s a lack of trust. Your partner should be the one you go to feel safe. You should go to them for help first. You’re in a bad place if you never think they’ll help.
Lack Of Gratitude
How much do you say thank you? Do you feel grateful for what your partner does? Do they tell you “thanks”? If you can’t think of the last time you thanked each other, it’s a sign. In healthy relationships, you appreciate each other. So, you’re grateful for little things and big things alike.
When you don’t feel appreciated, it hurts. It makes you not want to do things to help your partner. So, it’s a cycle. Ultimately, it results in you being unhappy in relationship cases.
You Feel Lonely
You should feel like you and your partner are a team. However, you don’t want to totally rely on them. It should be a balance. And you know it’s out of whack when you feel alone.
Maybe your partner is gone often. Or, maybe they’re not emotionally available. Either way, it’s a bad sign. Loneliness is tough. Indeed, being in a relationship and feeling alone is one of the hardest things to endure. You’ll feel this way if you can’t open up to your partner. Eventually, it leads to you being unhappy in relationship woes.
You Pick Fights
Understandably, we all get moody. It happens. But if you’re picking at your partner daily, something’s wrong. You shouldn’t be mad at your partner all the time. If every little thing they do bothers you, change is necessary. You should respect your partner.
On both sides, it hurts to have nitpicky fights. No doubt, it feels disrespectful. Over time, this is very demoralizing. Also, you stop feeling happy in the relationship. In short, feelings of love go away. Keep track of your conversations to determine if this is happening in your relationship. If so, it’s time for a change.
You Miss Being Single
Do you think about being single often? Moreover, are you jealous of your single friends? It’s okay to feel like this once in a while. You can have the occasional daydream. Naturally, we all sense sometimes that the grass is greener on the other side. Relationship experts agree it’s normal to desire freedom on occasion.
However, it shouldn’t happen all the time. If it does, it’s a sign you’re unhappy in relationship patterns. If you’re happy with your partner, you shouldn’t feel like you’d rather be alone. Start to notice how often you dream about getting away or being single. If you feel trapped daily, you’ll need to discuss it with your partner and make changes.
Why You Stay Unhappy In Relationship Settings
Studies show people stay in unhappy relationships when it helps their partner. In other words, they regard their partners’ feelings more than their own. They feel their partner is devoted. So, they should be, too. However, more research is needed to weigh the exact reaction of the other partner.
For one, they may already know their partner is unhappy in relationship. This knowledge could stress out the other partner. So, even if the unhappy one thinks they’re helping their partner, it could worsen the situation.
On the other hand, people stay in bad relationships for selfish purposes. To illustrate, say you’ve been in a relationship for three years. You’ve put in so much time. So much effort. And your emotions are on the line. Indeed, it’s hard to say no. Ending it now would only hurt both of you. So, why end it?
Also, consider resources. For instance, moving out may not be financially possible if you live together. Further, maybe you’re sharing other resources—for example, bank cards, cars, and meals. In addition, there’s social pressure. Maybe you just sent out wedding invitations. You may share the same friends. With so many parts of life integrated, it’s tough to tear it apart.
Repair Your Unhappy Relationship
So, you found out you’re unhappy in relationship patterns. What’s next? What should you do? First, finding a couples therapist would help. It will help the repair process if your time and funds allow it.
Meanwhile, follow these tips. Now, you’ll have to work hard. Be prepared and open to making changes. You or your partner’s behavior and perspective likely need a do-over.
What To Do To When Unhappy In Relationship
Fix Communication
If you just found out you’re unhappy in relationship, communication problems exist somewhere. So, find out what’s happening. Did you hide your unhappiness from your partner or vice versa? How long had it been since your last honest check-in with each other? Do you talk at all?
All these questions are vital to the life of your bond. But start slow. That is, spend a few minutes daily listening to what’s on their mind. Additionally, you can add talk time to your routine. Or, go on a date to open up. Whatever the case, get the conversation flowing.
See the Best In Your Partner
Look for the good in your partner. Maybe you’re unhappy in relationship situations because you’re the one being negative. If your actions were the common factor in all your past exes, it’s time to introspect.
Sometimes, you can solve a situation by changing perspectives. You’ll feel grateful when you start to notice all the good your partner brings to life. You’ll be more fulfilled. You’ll be happier.
Give Them Space
Boundaries are vital. Consequently, you must talk about them with your partner. Respect the distance they require. You don’t need to be together all the time. You don’t need to talk nonstop. Happy relationships have breathing room.
Be Honest
Honesty is a simple concept, but it’s tough. Surely, being honest can be tricky. However, this will prevent you from falling into an unhappy relationship.
Being honest also promotes trust. When you’re real, your partner knows they can rely on you. On your end, the air is clear. You’ve said everything you needed to say. As a result, you don’t feel stressed. You don’t feel distant. Being honest is an effective way to grow a healthy partnership.
See From Their Perspective
In short, try to empathize with your partner. For instance, if your partner confesses something to you, realize it took a lot for them to do so. Put yourself in their shoes.
Also, keep an open mind. When it comes to their actions, try not to judge. Be kind if they’ve made mistakes and are trying to fix them. How would you want your partner to react if you did the same?
What Not To Do When Unhappy In Relationship
Distract Yourself
When you spend time with your partner, how do you feel? Is your head somewhere else? In that case, your partner can tell. So, don’t get busy with other tasks when your partner tries connecting with you.
Also, if you’re unhappy in relationship patterns, don’t ignore it. And don’t think shoving down issues means they’ll turn out fine. If you distract yourself from love, it will only hurt. Instead, be fully present in the moment. To sum it up, embrace issues head-on with focus.
Take Things Personally
Your partner will have bad days. Now, this doesn’t mean they get to mistreat you. However, don’t think it’s your fault if they’re sulking in a corner. Further, don’t assume they’re having a bad day because of you. In short, don’t take things personally.
For instance, say your partner got bad news. Now, they’re upset. But they don’t want to share it with you. Does that go to your head? You shouldn’t let it.
This idea goes back to my “Give Them Space” tip. Sometimes, you need time to think. Or time to mourn. So, don’t think you did something wrong. Rather, wait and hear your partner out when they’re ready.
Skip Date Night
In any long-term relationship, the love changes. But that doesn’t mean you should let it fade. When unhappy in relationship settings, you need action. Do date nights often. Reimagine what they can be. Then, add some spice to them.
Date nights help foster healthy connections. On date nights, you can talk about new things. Or you can simply be together. You can try something new. No doubt, any activity will grow your bond. So, it’s vital not to skip these nights of romance.
Be Together 100% Of The Time
Does this seem weird? You might be thinking you should spend all your time with your love. However, studies show that it isn’t the best. Instead, it’s crucial to have your own life.
You are still responsible for your happiness. So, spending every waking hour with your love may make you forget that. You may start to lose yourself.
Relationship experts advise spending about 70% of your time together. Spend the other 30% apart. Use that 30% to enjoy your hobbies. Hang out with your friends. See your family. Do anything! Just don’t neglect your time away.
Bring Up The Past
It’s over. It’s behind you. Undeniably, you had issues. However, you worked through them and turned a new leaf. So, never guilt your partner with something they did in the past.
This will only make you more unhappy in relationship settings. Don’t bring up old habits. Leave old fights in the grave. There’s no point in digging up dirt.
However, something may be unresolved if there’s still so much emotion when you think about the past. In that case, finding a mediator to help you talk through it would be helpful. But don’t bring up issues out of spite. It’s not going to help your bond grow. It can only lead to distress.
How to Create a Long-Lasting Relationship
Certainly, healthy long-term relationships positively impact your mental well-being. Here are a few tips on how to foster a long-lasting, happy relationship.
Find Out Their Love Language
In short, your love language describes how you receive love. For example, do you feel most loved when your partner says supportive words? Or when they spend quality time with you?
Spend time with your partner researching love languages. It will help you understand and explain yours to each other. This way, you know what makes your partner feel the most loved.
Don’t Try To Win Arguments
There’s no winner in an argument. When you and your partner have a conflict, you must handle it respectfully. Undoubtedly, you’ll have arguments. It’s your responsibility to be kind during them.
So, don’t go into a discussion thinking you need to win. And don’t try to be correct. The purpose of dialogue is to come together on an issue, not put the other person down.
In other words, your mutual goal should be to find a solution that works for both of you. Who is “right” and “wrong” should not be a factor. Over time, this will pull your bond apart. Remember, you’re a team!
Learn to Compromise
In any relationship, there’s give and take to prevent you being unhappy in relationship situations. It will not work long-term if you always expect your partner to cater to you.
Remember, you each have your own set of needs and desires. You both have careers or interests. What’s more, you had your own networks and friend groups when you came together.
So, how do you merge your lives? In short, it takes compromise. You should expect to meet in the middle. This concept goes for everything, from nights out to moving cities.
It helps to appreciate the variety your partner has brought to your life. Giving up something you wanted to do for something your partner wanted to do is a sign of deep commitment. Indeed, it’s a selfless act that will grow your love. With healthy compromise comes healthy, long-lasting relationships.
Check In On Your Relationship
Establish occasional check-ins on the status of your relationship. As a result, you may uncover unhappiness in the relationship in time to fix it. During these check-ins, it’s vital to be open. Share any feelings you have with your partner.
Further, brainstorm on steps you can take to get closer. Address any downfalls. Importantly, tell each other what brings you joy. Share gratitude. Also, describe your favorite things about your time together. Conveying the good and the bad will foster healthy love.
You can make your check-ins quarterly, monthly, or even weekly. Every relationship is different. If you’re experiencing a chaotic time in life, check in with each other more frequently. These check-ins will help ensure everything’s on the table.
Create Passion
When you first fell in love, there was endless passion. Endorphins and excitement touched the moon. Every moment was electric. After several months or years, those feelings change.
However, in healthy, long-term relationships, they grow deeper. The love should become more stable.
With that in mind, how do you keep up the fun? How do you stay passionate? It’s crucial to focus on this to prevent being anxious and unhappy in relationship. New experiences are one way to create passion. For instance, book a nice hotel nearby for a weekend staycation.
Take a new class together. Ask friends for fun ideas around your town.
Next, do little romantic things for each other. Get your partner flowers or a gift on a weekday. Decorate the bedroom romantically. Write them a poem. Make it fun and unexpected! Further, express your love to them. Tell them what you like about them often. Compliment them.
All these little positive words and fun actions will combine to foster passion. Ultimately, this leads to a long-lasting relationship.
What Does a Good Relationship Look Like?
You’ve learned about the signs of an unhappy relationship. You’ve also learned steps you can take to create long-lasting love. Now, it’s time to learn the main traits of a good relationship.
You Respect Each Other
In short, you and your partner respect one another. What is respect? Well, respect means you deeply admire someone. You appreciate their culture, their beliefs, and their lifestyle.
So, how does it work in a healthy relationship? Happy partners respect each other’s goals, needs, and desires. They respect each other’s communication style. Also, they share a respect for boundaries and privacy.
You Feel Safe
Not only do you feel physically safe, but you feel emotionally safe. You feel comfortable sharing your thoughts and feelings. Crucially, you don’t feel forced to do anything you’re uncomfortable with.
Further, your friends and family feel safe when your partner is around. Your partner doesn’t get violent with you, your loved ones, or your kids. The two of you work together to make a safe home.
There’s Mutual Trust
Over time, a healthy relationship builds trust. Notably, it takes effort to maintain trust. In good relationships, you can count on your partner and vice versa. They can trust your word.
Also, you rely on each other. For instance, if you tell your partner you’ll come to their event, you will be there.
Further, you know you can count on your love to tell you when they mess up. And they know they can trust you to hear them out. This is how healthy love grows.
You Have Good Communication Habits
Communication is crucial in any good relationship. You may have noticed I brought it up a few times already. Now, find out how communication works in a good relationship.
First, good relationships use active listening skills. This means when your partner talks, your focus is on them. You notice their words, body language, and voice tone. You listen to their comments without judging. Also, you’re not thinking about what you will say next as they speak.
Second, good relationships use digital communication wisely. For instance, if they need to have a serious talk, they will plan it out to be in person.
They understand how you could misread their words over text. On the other hand, they use texting and video calls to their benefit during their time away. They know how keeping in touch helps them.
Finally, they speak respectfully. They talk to each other openly. They avoid using words like “always” and “never” in serious talks. They avoid blaming each other. One way they do this is by speaking in “I” statements rather than “you” statements when describing how they feel.
Also, if they must bring up something negative, they do it calmly. Then, they express gratitude. In this manner, good relationships create kind dialogue.
Conclusion
Now that you have information about unhappy and happy relationships, use it well. So, if you’re frustrated and unhappy in relationship situations that aren’t serving you, you can change.
Most likely, your relationship has some good and some bad. So, celebrate the wins and work on the shortcomings. Use this guide to decide the next steps for you and your partner based on your findings.
If your relationship needs repair, use the traits of a good relationship as your goal list. Tell your partner what you discovered about your relationship. Open the door for change. No relationship is perfect. You can only try your best to love better.
So, which tip about creating a long-lasting relationship stood out to you? How will you use it to mend your unhappy relationship? I’d love to hear your ideas in the comments below.
Reference:
Joel, S., Impett, E. A., Spielmann, S. S., & MacDonald, G. (2018). How interdependent are stay/leave decisions? On staying in the relationship for the sake of the romantic partner. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 115(5), 805–824.
