Why is mental peace so elusive? The answer is clear. It’s because many things you think are good for you are, in fact, sucking away your peace.
Besides chasing happiness, several other pitfalls exist. Read on to discover what these seven things you’re doing wrong are. As a bonus, find out what to do instead to gain mental peace.
Chasing Happiness Kills Mental Peace
Think you need to be happy all the time? Stop! Chasing happiness is the fastest way to kill your mental peace.
The effect of chasing happiness is stress. If you think every day has to be fun, you will fight woes. You’ll try to ignore bad times. You may even engage in toxic positivity. You’ll fall into traps of instant gratification. These all produce friction in your life, which destroys your chance of gaining mental peace.
Further, chasing happiness means you’re stuck in the future. In contrast, mental peace requires living in the present.
Do this instead:
Live in the present moment. Accept bad days. Look ahead to your long-term goals. Trust that you are okay, even if you aren’t happy today or this week.
Relying On Yourself For Mental Peace
Maybe your parents taught you to do this as a kid. Consequently, self-reliance may be one of your values. In reality, this trait could be denying you mental peace.
So, you think you can do it all on your own. You don’t need help from friends. You don’t need help from professionals. In fact, you don’t need help from anyone! If this sounds like you, consider this: A mentality of total self-reliance is about being tough. But this doesn’t equal courage. It doesn’t mean you’re mentally strong. Rather, it’s an egocentric belief that causes a state of arrogance.
To find mental peace, you have to accept your limitations. Humans are social animals. Therefore, we need social support. Research shows that a strong support group leads to less stress. In turn, this leads to more peace.
Do this instead:
Grow a network of people you care about. Learn to trust them and ask them for help. Part of life is leaning on others. Admit that you don’t have all the answers. Most importantly, have fun with it! Make new associations with professionals or friends with similar interests. Learn from and with them. You could even work on gaining mental peace together!
Avoiding Negative Emotions
When you ignore negative emotions, you end up feeling more stressed. You may push past emotions for many reasons. For example, to feel better in the moment or to look strong.
It’s hard to get out of this habit. In the moment, it feels good to distract yourself, so you don’t have to think about the pain of loss, the difficulty of a conflict with a friend, or the anger from being mistreated at work. However, avoiding the pain won’t lead to mental peace. On the contrary, it will lead to stress, guilt, and even physical illnesses over time.
Do this instead:
To find mental peace, feel your pain. That means being with your negative emotions in the present. In essence, own the feeling. Psychologists even suggest naming your emotions as they come up.
Pursuing Perfection
Too many people have, and will, demand perfection. Your boss requires it. Your spouse might want it. Your children might think you’ve reached it. However, setting standards of perfection is not healthy. It causes feelings of worthlessness when you don’t attain it.
Do this instead:
Accept your flaws. Better yet, embrace them and love them. Journal and set goals to work on whatever you wish to, but never beat yourself up. No one makes the mark of perfection. Instead, aim for excellence.
Staying In Your Comfort Zone
Comfort zones sure are cozy. Certainly, they can trap you for quite some time. There’s a reason they’re tempting. It’s because they make you feel safe and secure. However, this isn’t the same as mental peace.
Being comfortable usually involves saying no to activities or work that will help you. Often, comfort is actually the avoidance of discomfort. Avoiding discomfort will cause stress and unease over time.
Do this instead:
Push yourself. Step out into the wild. Try something new, with someone new. As a result, you’ll be mentally, physically, or even financially healthier. All of these benefits lead to more peace.
Living To Impress
So many facets of life include putting on a show. For example, constantly striving to impress the boss. Making extra effort to impress your peers. Showing off to your social media followers. All of it is sucking away your peace. That’s because depending on praise and acknowledgment is a waste. Moreover, it may keep you up at night.
Do this instead:
Live out your values. Do it unashamedly. Don’t worry about what anyone thinks about your choices.
Doing Too Much Self-Care For Mental Peace
One survey showed that 57% of people believe self-care is taking a mental rest. While self-care is important for mental health, too much can be a problem. When all you focus on is yourself, you start to neglect the people around you. Also, you may be too busy with workouts and face masks and massages to notice the real issues in your life. In other words, be cautious with self-care. It may be covering up the problems you most desperately need to address.
Do this instead:
Look outside yourself. People around you could use your help. Helping others makes you feel good. You’ll feel peace after doing selfless deeds. Don’t center your focus on yourself all the time! Balance self-care with general care.
Conclusion
Now that you know what’s holding you back from mental peace, it’s time to act. Pick your three worst offenders from this list, and pull an action item out of the “Do this instead” section. With time, you’ll make habits of these. Mental peace will be yours!
Which one of these is your biggest pitfall? Share your answer in the comments down below!
